


define the relationship

by pissedofsandwich



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Future Fic, M/M, Post-Time Skip, deliberations on why they aren't dating but guess what! they already are!, one line mention of bokuaka, past AtsuHina - Freeform, present atsuaran, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:22:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29367708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pissedofsandwich/pseuds/pissedofsandwich
Summary: "Why aren't we dating?"(Spoiler: they already are.)
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 12
Kudos: 208





	define the relationship

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [blue sky ceiling](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27779041) by [mortalatte](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mortalatte/pseuds/mortalatte). 



> thank you very much to [mortalatte](https://www.archiveofourown.org/users/mortalatte/pseuds/mortalatte) for the beta on this fic! all remaining mistakes are mind. honestly, expect a lot because this is a vent fic. you can probably guess half of my relationship experience from the conversations. her fic, [blue sky ceiling](https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/27779041/chapters/68001949) is a huge influence of oihina's characterization for me, please give it a read! she evokes imagery like no one else.
> 
> i'm also inspired by the writing of malcom & marie (2021) which just has insane amount of run-on dialogue. tw for verbal abuse and general toxic, unhealthy relationship for those of you who decide to watch it. that being said, the subject matter of this fic is very different, and very much not heavy. just twenty-somethings talking about their relationship. hope you enjoy!

Tooru poses the question long after they've fucked out a week's worth of stamina, with his hands busy putting away the folded shirts from the mountain of clothes Hinata has been neglecting for the duration of his stay, traffic radio playing softly from the tiny Xiaomi speaker playing from the messy kitchen.

They've just eaten a big lunch—aglio e olio, because Shouyou hates buttery food and Tooru was craving for pasta, thus: a compromise — and procrastinated for the duration of the afternoon live report of minor jam on Av. José Brumatti, absentmindedly going back and forth on suggestions on how to finish the entire hamper of avocados Shouyou's captain sent him for their third win in the Superliga after Shouyou moved. They're getting more ripe each day that passes, and somewhere between deciding to make guacamole, as any  _ basic  _ person would, and indulging secretly in dietary habits that would give their nutritionists a heart attack — mashing avocados along with a shit ton of condensed milk — they've migrated to the laundry basket near the stacks of magazines in Shouyou's room. Still on the topic of avocados, except their hands now are occupied.

And it's when Shouyou says, "You know what, I'll just juice them," to the vehement refusal of Tooru — "You juice  _ everything,  _ it's actually concerning," — that Tooru realizes,  _ oh, this is kind of domestic, isn't it? _

Tooru’s expression changes, and because it's Shouyou, of course he notices. He puts yet another gym shorts over yet another wifebeater and gives Tooru a Look.  _ Say what's on your mind _ , it demands, clear as the day Tooru set for him all those years ago, and read his moves like a book. 

So Tooru asks, "Why aren't we dating?"

As expected, the question is met with not a single hint of surprise. Almost like Shouyou has been privately wondering, too. Tooru wouldn't be surprised. This casual-sleeping-together-when-we're-in-the-same-city has been going steadily for years, except for when they're both in monogamous relationships; at some point, the meetings cease to be "well, might as well," and morph into, "when are you free? I'll make time for you." Like precisely what he is doing right now, spending the first week of their off-season break together in São Paolo before they fly back to Miyagi in three days. It had been Shouyou's suggestion to book the same flight, because he hates long flights alone and aiming for a lower ticket price in the second week of break. 

Tooru had agreed to it because it's convenient — he also hates long flights alone — but now that the question is out, it's sinking in now how much like a couple their thought process is. Deciding to spend break together, coming back to their families together. 

He's starting to feel a little obtuse for only _ really  _ thinking about it now, but in his defense, Shouyou also hasn't asked to DTR. It's kind of a mutual overlook.

"I don't know," Shouyou says.

Tooru puts a pair of socks right sides together, rolling it up until it fits in the palm of his hand, and turns it inside out until it creates a small ball. He then tosses it at Shouyou, who catches it with both hands. "Can our behavior be considered as couple behavior?"

"Which one?"

"Like…" he gestures to the air between them, above their heads. "All of this?" He feels a little bit incredulous that he has to point it out, but after a beat he supposes he can understand. If they were legitimately in a relationship, a lot of things would look different — like the intensity of their communication, the exclusivity of their beds, the romance, the candle-lit dinners…

Actually, come to think of it: "For instance, have you been sleeping with someone else?" Because he knows he hasn't. Not out of some sense of obligation to Shouyou; it just stopped being something he wants, one day. 

"No." Shouyou's answer comes quick, easy. He frowns as he picks up a pair of neon boxers. "I know this isn't mine," he says, almost accusingly, which Tooru only responds with a very dignified eyeroll.

"Because it's  _ mine _ , sorry I put it in your basket after you came all over it."

"Thanks for the mental image," Shouyou says with a dreamy sigh.

Tooru swats him with the boxers. "Horn-town," he hisses, but it holds a fond note. "Anyway, don't derail the subject. Have you seriously stopped sleeping with other people?"

"Yeah?" 

"Not even… Miya?"

The way Shouyou  _ doesn’t  _ flinch at all is very telling. Tooru decides not to call him out on it. Though he knows all the ins and outs of Shouyou’s entanglements with various people over the course of his life, Miya Atsumu is murky water. This is as far as he knows: they were in love, but that wasn’t enough. It isn’t surprising when Shouyou’s response is to deflect with, " _ Which _ Miya?"

He doesn’t even dignify him with an eyeroll this time. "Come on, Shouyou, you  _ know  _ which Miya."

"I slept with both."

"... wow. Like, at the same time?"

"I'm not that much of a whore, so, no."

"Bummer," Tooru says, only half-serious. "So, no one  _ else _ ? Since when?"

"It's only been you for… six months now?"

"Huh," Tooru says. It doesn't feel like it has been that long.  "Same."

Shouyou perks up at that. "Really?"

"Yeah," Tooru nods. "I think the last person I slept with that wasn't you was… actually, I forgot. I only remember you."

"Okay," Shouyou says. "Does that make us… a couple?"

"Just sleeping with each other? I feel that's more lust than love… which does not make a relationship," Tooru reasons. "Are we fuckbuddies?"

"Aren’t we way past that," Shouyou laughs. He hands Tooru his last pair of gym shorts — there are  _ eight  _ in total, Tooru  _ will  _ drag him to Shopping Cidade even if it  _ kills _ him — and stretches his legs across the wooden floor, letting Tooru stuff the shorts in his drawer with a self-satisfied smile. Tooru, back against the wall and legs crossed, raises his eyebrows at Shouyou. "Fuckbuddies are like,  _ wham-bam-thank-you-madam _ and we're like,  _ wham-bam… _ " Shouyou trails off, clearly thinking of an appropriate sound effect, finding none, and settling underwhelmingly with, " _... come-back-soon, madam?" _

Tooru snorts.

"I'm  _ serious _ ," Shouyou laughs again, crawling towards Tooru so he can lay on his stomach, chin in hands. "It's not just sex for me, you know this. It’s your friendship, too."

Tooru sits up  _ straighter  _ at the mention of friends.

"...  _ just _ friendship?" 

Shouyou rolls his eyes. "Of course  _ not.  _ You're not in the friend-zone or whatever. Which is a term I find weird, by the way — shouldn't your partner also  _ be  _ a friend? Like Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san, how they’re  _ the  _ best of friends who are also married?" he nudges Tooru's knee. "I meant… your companionship. Your presence. Your guidance. I like what you’ve given to me."

"What  _ have  _ I given to you?" Tooru asks.

That makes him think. Tooru likes the way he looks. It’s not too long before he answers, “Understanding,” like it’s a forgotten word that’s  _ just  _ on the back of his head.

This time Tooru laughs.

"That seems so… simple."

"Because it is. Why does love have to be elaborate?"

"Because! The romance! The heat! The passion!" Tooru extends his hands. "Fireworks, drama, the whole she-bang. Understanding is just so…" he makes a face. "Mundane."

Shouyou seems to ponder hard on this, because he's quiet for a longer while, eyes up to the ceiling with his little nose scrunched up. Tooru is attacked suddenly by the urge to gather him into his lap and smother him with kisses, which — suspect for dating evidence?

"What's wrong with mundane?"

"That's  _ boring. _ "

"I don't find any of this boring. Do you?"

"Well. No, but — "

"Then mundane isn't boring."

"You  _ really  _ want me to believe," Tooru says, crossing his arms, "that out of  _ aaallll _ the people you've met across  _ thirteen _ cities in all of  _ three  _ different continents, from high school to pro-volleyball,  _ I'm  _ the only one who gives you understanding?"

Shouyou scoffs — outright scoffs! Tooru is now attacked with the need to square up, except Shouyou drops his head on his lap, and then Tooru is just really content now. Shouyou reaches for his head, pulls him down, and says, "Tell me, who else has our shared experience?"

Tooru searches all the cabinets and drawers in his head. "Well," he concedes, finally seeing Shouyou's point, the polyglot migrants, darlings of Miyagi’s volleyball, have shaken hands with Princess Mako on her visit to Latin American countries of it all. "Now I  _ see  _ your point."

"See? We're like one in a million. Isn't that romantic?" Shouyou grins, and distracts Tooru enough with that blinding smile that he forgets about the predicament at hand and starts kissing him, open-mouthed and smiling in reply. The angle is not the best, a movie-appropriate horizontal Spiderman's kiss that looks more pretty than actually enjoyable — also Shouyou smells like onions — but he finds that he doesn't mind it. Not even a little bit. Like an old married couple, they're kind of disgusting and Tooru is  _ suuuper  _ into it.

Which makes him  _ remember  _ they are not even dating.

He pulls off. 

Shouyou whines.

" _ Tooru _ ," Shouyou pouts, having known this as a weakness of Tooru that he is not above exploiting to get his way, which is to continue to  _ not  _ DTR.

But Tooru stands his ground.

"Okay, but if we  _ are  _ dating, hypothetically, shouldn't we be… more clingy? Or, say we are not dating right now, but we want to, in the future, should we talk more often? Like, video calls and stuff?"

"Every  _ day _ ?" Shouyou says.

"Like all LDR couples do."

"Well, I don't know, I kinda like how often we talk right now," Shouyou muses. "Is it bad that when I think about having to commit to talking  _ every day _ , I kind of… hate it? Makes it feel like an obligation, somehow."

"I'll follow that up with another question: why is it bad to have an obligation?" 

"Obligation is like, eating boiled chicken when I have to bulk up. Doing my photoshoots with Mikasa. Meeting Princess Mako. Keeping my body weight at this number. Like if I don't hold up my end, there'd be a consequence," in a smaller voice, he adds, "... and in relationships, the consequence is losing the other person, and I… don't want to lose you."

This display of openness from Shouyou isn’t exactly rare, but it still stuns Tooru to hear the words coming out of Shouyou so earnestly.  _ I don’t want to lose you.  _ It’s not like he doesn’t know this already. In their relationship, casual as he maintains it is, there exists that mutual acknowledgment of this not being something ephemeral. He mulls over Shouyou’s answer, and asks, "Are you saying you don't want to make the effort?"

"No, it's more that… I don't feel like we have to talk every day? I mean, remember those days in quarantine?" Shouyou shudders. "I used to schedule every day calls with Yachi-san, Kageyama-kun, Tadashi and Tsukishima — it was super fun, at first, we played  _ sooo  _ many Among Us games that it cost me brain cells, and after a while the excitement just… wore off. We got sick of the same routine, can't find new topics to talk about. Then it just stopped being fun."

"That's in  _ quarantine _ though, when you can't legally do anything either. Long-distance is different."

“Yeah, but…” Shouyou shrugs. "But we got other things to do."

"Well, calling me won't be the  _ only _ thing you do," Tooru says, flicking his cute, scrunched-up nose. "Also, if this is how you feel about video calling every day, what about cohabitation? You'll be sick of seeing me every day. Then I'll have to kick you out because I will be sick of you  _ being  _ sick of me."

"Never. See, when it's in person, it's different? 'Cos we can just… exist in silence. In the same room, but doing our things, you know? You ever try video calling someone when you're dead-tired, but the other person is still so hyped up that they expect you to  _ also  _ be hyped up, then when you show that you're super tired, they get all sad and disappointed? And then you have to explain that no, it isn't that I'm tired of you, I'm just tired in general. I gotta exist on my own right now. But then they'll think you don't miss them — "

"Alright, you're recounting your Atsumu Experience now. Is this why you broke up with him?"

"Just now you make me sound like a  _ huge  _ asshole."

"I mean, you kind of were. He was mad in love."

"And so was I. We didn't want the same things, though," Shouyou hesitates. It's clearly a topic he's a little pensive about — while Tooru isn't privy to the nitty gritty details, he knows that for a while, when Shouyou first moved back to Japan, what he had with Atsumu was precious — and most importantly, serious. "It's a breakdown of communication, I think. He wanted what I couldn't give him — or didn't know how to give him." He clears his throat. "Anyway, he's happy now with Aran-san, who he used to write secret love letters about in middle school, did you know that?"

"Well, I'm with  _ you  _ now, awaiting status confirmation," Tooru says. "Was it the distance?”

The way Shouyou doesn’t give him an immediate answer says more than his words could. Tooru almost pulls back. He knows the hurt of digging up old memories about a love lost. Even long after he’s made peace with it, having to confront it again, in front of a potential new significant other no less, it’s uncomfortable at best. At worst, it brings up questions that drive you to blame yourself: would it work, if you had done this one thing differently? If you were kinder, would you still be with that person, happier?

It isn’t suspicion of a divided heart—he’s never felt insecure with Shouyou, not once in the course of their adult relationship—but by now, he knows that each past relationship is a lesson learned, and, well, he’s always been studious. As difficult as the conversation is, he needs to know—for both of their sake, so they can move forward.

Tooru reaches out, poking at Shouyou's cheek with his index finger, an encouraging gesture. 

Shouyou sighs, and finally relents. “It’s a combination of a bunch of things. We made do with the distance, it wasn’t like a huge deal breaker or something, but he had this assumption that it was going to be temporary. That at some point, I would return to Japan.”

Tooru blinks in surprise. “Wait, do you mean you don’t want to return to Japan?  _ How  _ is this the first time I’m hearing of this?”

“Because I’m still not sure! It’s just—it’s a possibility, for me. I like it here. But he didn’t like that there was even a possibility, and when I asked him to move to Brazil, he said no. So, no compromise was made,” Shouyou says, no sugarcoat. “And now we’re here.”

Tooru gapes at him. Ninja Shouyou, always with the surprise bombs. He is  _ so  _ going to book two hours of Shouyou’s time in their shared Google calendar just to talk to him about naturalization, most of all warning him of the mental toll that hellhole that is naturalization bureaucracy, but for now, he points out the glaring fact: “We’ve never had a problem with the distance.”

“Exactly,” Shouyou grins, and it's that look again, that feral, stormy eyes that Tooru came to contend with at the end of his high school volleyball career; the one that gives him the good chills. He trains those eyes now on Tooru, except when Tooru meets him with the same defiant eyes, Shouyou goes tender. 

If Tooru's being honest, another unspoken reason for his abstinence-sans-Shouyou is because he just likes where he is now, that he doesn't feel the need to add something — or someone — else into the routine. Shouyou's already part of his routine since they met when he was a fresh-faced migrant, however random or planned those outbursts of closeness are. He doesn't need approval, acceptance, or validation of others; just himself, the court, and his skills. Things he trusts in.

Still, he knows that he's a romantic to a fault, which boggles his mind when you consider that his courtship with Shouyou has been mostly the stuff of a B-side. Not to say it's unexciting, because eating potatoes while people-watching, or roadtripping to Rio and getting a sweet deal to stay in  _ the  _ Edward and Bella honeymoon location in Paraty is pretty damn exciting—it's just. It's how their relationship has always been, post-high school. When the loneliness of not speaking your first language and getting somehow worse at speaking it hardened something previously injured in them, made them see the world in the same glasses that only people like them could—

Understand.

Tooru blinks. 

Okay, he  _ super  _ gets it now.

"But what if I want a future together?" Tooru says. “Obviously, not now, I am enjoying volleyball way too much right now, but what if at some point I want to  _ get  _ married? ‘Cause it’s a privilege that people like us can do that, here. I’m not going to entertain the idea of a long-distance marriage.”

Shouyou looks at him, long and searching, takes a deep breath, and says, "Okay."

"I want a house with a high ceiling. I want to stress over picking between two blue shades and I want to maybe have a cute dog I can carry around like Elle Woods, because she's a damn icon, I want  _ no  _ juicer whirring before 8 am  _ every day _ —"

"Non-negotiable."

"—I _ don't  _ want a western wedding, destination weddings also kind of suck for  _ our  _ friends, especially to Iwa-chan because he  _ hates  _ the lack of legroom in economy—"

"Moving so fast here, don't you think?"

"But mostly—" he pushes Shouyou to sit up, face-to-face as he braces his arms on Shouyou's shoulders, serious-faced. "Mostly, I want us to figure things out together."

Shouyou sighs, pressing their foreheads together. The weight of his hand on Tooru's nape feels like something he knows as well as his own hands. Their lips an inch apart, Shouyou says, "You done with your lists?"

Tooru is  _ this  _ close to punching him. With his mouth. Because  _ that  _ tone of voice, the same one he uses to ask,  _ are you close now, Tooru?  _ being used in this context is just—cruel. Terrible. 0/10.

"Unless you got something to add to it," Tooru challenges.

"I do."

"What is it?"

"I want you," Shouyou says, "to know, with all of your beautiful, big heart, that I, Hinata Shouyou,  _ love  _ you very much, which in my opinion should’ve been the  _ first  _ thing you asked me when it comes to dating, but of course you know that already, I guess. And I want you to know that I  _ will  _ do everything in my power to work things out. Compromise. Healthy discussion. Trust. Compassion—"

"And everything," Tooru says. "Because if you're with me, it's all in."

Shouyou kisses him, passion and patience, and says with the same determination of taking out players twice his size, "And everything."


End file.
